Stupid Cancer ..

My heart is pretty heavy today .. & It's taking all I have to hold back my tears & keep a positive attitude .. Last night my Mom took our family dog Bentley to the vets because he was throwing up & not eating .. We thought maybe he was just sick or had a tooth that had cracked, because he was favoring one side of his mouth when trying to eat .. After bloodwork, MRI's & XRays, we found out that Bentley has cancer :-( He has a large mass in his stomach that is getting removed today .. Along with the removal of his spleen .. The tumor has caused his spleen to move from between his breastbone to above his bladder .. That in itself, is causing him to have some internal bleeding .. He's getting prepped right now & will be taken back around 10:00 for his operation .. Please keep him in your prayers & hopes for a speedy recovery .. & also that the slight chance of his tumor being benign .. He's only 10 years old .. I love you Bentley!!

Tuesdays are so pointless ..

Ok .. I can understand Monday's .. Everyone hates them & they mark the beginning of a work week .. Thursdays make sense because they are the day before Friday & regardless of what anyone says, you will stay up later on Thursday evenings because you know Friday you can work no matter how tired you .. & Because, we all know Friday's are the best day of week .. Saturday & Sunday don't need an explanation .. So back to my title .. Tuesdays & Wednesdays just seem pointless .. They mean nothing .. & they just plain suck ..

Can I just say how tired I am of hearing people talk about how "white" my child is? Or how much he looks "asian"? Obviously my boyfriend isn't SUPER dark .. I am SUPER fair .. Not all biracial babies have to be black or tan .. Sorry I had a dominant gene in the making of him .. And again, if you look at pictures of my boyfriend, he has a little bit of a "slanted" eye .. So does my son .. He is not asian .. Not that there is anything wrong with being asian .. Do you know how embarrassing it is for people to ask me if i'm sure that Brent is the father? Or all the crazy stares we get from people when we are out .. I hate how superficial & judgmental people can get .. If anyone wants to pay the $200 it takes to get a paternity test, let's do it .. I will then get the results printed out on a t-shirt and wear it around with the words "YES HE IS THE FATHER" on it, so you all would just leave me alone about it!

Rant is over .. On a happier note, I found this survey to help take my mind off of idiots :)

1. What time did you get up this morning?

Technically, 4:00am .. Baby woke me up .. Then back up again at 6:30am ..

 2. How do you like your steak?

 Medium Rare ..

3. What was the last movie you saw at the theater?

The Dilemma .. I know, but we get awesome bootlegs, so I can watch ALL the NEW movies at home! :)

4. What is your favorite TV show?

Oh man .. How can I choose .. I love ALL reality TV..

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

Somewhere sunny & beachy .. California!

6. What did you have for breakfast?

My fat ass had a mini pumpkin cheesecake (homemade by my awesome coworker) along with some crackers & some chicken cheese ball .. & coffee ..

7. Do you wear glasses or contacts?  

Glasses ..

8. What food do you despise?

Lima Beans & Liver ..

  

9.  Favorite Place to Eat?

So cliche - but OLIVE GARDEN!

10. Favorite dressing?

Ranch .. or this Aegean dressing from a hometown restaurant ..

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?

2011 Nissan Altima Sedan .. Needed a 4 door Mom car!

12. What are your favorite clothes?

Sweats .. VNeck tshirts .. Uggs ..
Anything not form fitting to show off my "still looking pregnant" belly ..

13. Where would you visit, this weekend, if you had the chance?

Hershey Park to see the Christmas Lights .. 

14. How many tattoos do you have? 

I have two ..

15. Where would you want to retire?

St Augustine, FL ..

16. What is your desktop photo?

My beautiful baby boy & hot boyfriend!

17. Where were you born?

Hagerstown MD..

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?

 Football! .. REDSKINS Fan!!

19. How many siblings?

 One brother & One step brother ..

20. Favorite pastime/hobby?

 Sleeping .. Or shopping .. Or spending time with my Family ..

21. Coffee Drinker? 

 Absolutely! I keep Starbucks in business ..

22. Are you a morning person or a night person?

 Hmmm .. Probably a morning person now that I have a 4 month old ..

23. Do you have any pets?

 Technically no .. My mom has two dogs who are pretty much mine too .. :) 

Bentley & Bailey

 

24. What did you want to be when you were little?

 Marine Biologist or Zoologist ..

25.  What is your favorite color?

 Yellow ..

26. Are you a cat or dog person?

 DOG ..

27. Are you married?

 Nope .. or engaged .. & no, it's not happening anytime soon! :)

28. Always wear your seat belt?

 ALWAYS ..

29. Been in a car accident?

 Once, when I was little .. With my Mom ..

30. Any pet peeves?

 Close minded people .. Racist people .. SLOW IDIOT drivers .. I could go on for days!

31. Favorite Pizza Toppings?

 Ham & Mushroom .. or extra cheese!

32. Favorite Flower?

 Sunflowers!

33. Favorite ice cream?

 Raspberry or Butter Pecan ..

34. Favorite fast food restaurant?

 ALL OF THEM .. Taco Bell, Chick Fil A, Sonic, Arbys, Burger King ..

35. From whom did you get your last email?

My BFF Jamie Lee :) 

My confessions ..

So I'm pretty sure that NO ONE reads my blog .. But I decided to give this a try and link up with Leslie @ Blonde Ambition to give some of my confessions ..


1. I've done ABSOLUTELY no Christmas shopping yet .. We did manage to get Christmas pictures taken so I can start putting together our cards to send out & gifts to make ..

2. I spend close to $60 a week going out for lunch on top of the $100 my boyfriend spends weekly on groceries that I buy solely to bring in for my lunch ..

3. I have the most amazing best friend ever .. She is also an awesome God Mommy .. I'm super blessed & lucky to have her ..

4. I truly believe my boyfriend has a twin & he dates my best friend .. ^^^ yep, that best friend!

5. I came to realize at 24 that I never wanted kids .. At 25 I became a Mom ..

6. I am so thankful for my "oops" baby .. He is my whole entire world ..

7. I follow & read about 30 blogs every day .. I wish I was friends with LOTS of the girls I follow!

8. I dated a Redskins player ..

9. I hate how people still think I'm dating him & come up to talk to me about a game or a pass or touchdown or run he did .. I really don't give a crap anymore ..

10. I took 30 minutes to write this, and I hardly even confessed anything worth confessing ..

Yeah so I'm kind of lame .. Hopefully this gets easier as time goes on .. :)

I am super freakin tired today .. This past weekend was exhausting!

Friday night was "Olde Time Christmas" in Funkytown .. It's where EVERYONE and their brother (all 100 people) who live in Funkstown, get together and walk around the main street .. Can I just mention that Funkstown has 2 bars and a strip club? Yeah .. Our main street consists of : An antique shop, My apartment, a Florist, the Town Hall, St Pauls Lutheran Church, a Sub Shop, a Tax place, Bar #1, 2 hair salons, a lawyers office, Bar #2 and a Firehall ..  The strip club unfortunately isn't on main street .. Although it is on a main road past the kid friendly park & Post office .. I love my town .. I've lived here my entire life .. Well, since I was 4 .. Who else can say they've lived in 4 different houses in Funkstown? Right .. Only me .. My Pappy is known as Mr Funkstown .. Him and my Nanny are the oldest residents of Funkstown .. They've been there since 1957 .. & their house only cost $11,000 back then .. Pappy has told me 100 times ..  Off topic .. So after Olde Time Christmas, the family decided to go to Fratelli's for dinner .. The lovely boyfriend works across the street so he was able to meet us .. Cranky baby kicked in and I had to box my dinner up & head home .. He fell asleep around 9:00, woke us up at 3:30am for a bottle and then slept until 8:30am Saturday morning! Hallelujah!

Saturday was spent getting Bryce's 1st set of pictures taken .. I know, he's almost 4 months old & we're slacking .. we tried to get his pictures done at 6 weeks .. He was NOT having that .. I got a couple proofs back yesterday & Can't wait to see the rest! We're surprising our parents/family members with these pictures .. So keep this shit a secret all you followers .. yeah, that's my idea of a joke .. Lammmmeee .. Is it weird I feel like I should stop typing this because I'm the only person who's reading/going to read it? lol .. Sooooo, after pictures our little model fell fast asleep .. Mommy & Daddy had a romantic outing to Sam's Club & WalMart .. I love the feeling of a full house of food .. Maybe because I love food! .. FINALLY got home around 7:30 .. Gave Bryce a bottle, put him to bed and Daddy and Mommy had some adult time .. No, not that adult time .. Movie & alcoholic beverages to be exact .. We can't hang like we used too .. I was asleep by 10:00 lol ..

Sunday Mr Bryce decided Mommy needed to be awake at 6am .. I was not a happy camper .. Seeing as though I was just up with him at 3:00am .. and because we had a LONG day ahead of us .. 3 birthday parties .. Lots of food .. Tons of kids .. I needed Starbucks but didn't get it .. After leaving our house at 1pm, we got home at 9pm .. I was beat .. Bryce fell asleep at 10 and woke up at 5:30 for me .. Not bad .. 7 and half hours .. I believe i will be getting him to stay awake until 10:00 again tonight lol ..

I hate holiday season at my job because EVERYONE brings in food .. all the time .. and i swear i will gain 100lbs in 2 weeks .. I am not even going to post what i just consumed ..

I need to get some work done, so i'll leave you with this adorable baby boy .. and yes, he is allll mine :)

My Birth Story - Bryce Pierre - August 30th 2011

First thing's first .. My little boy's due date was set for September 24th, so you can imagine how surprised I was to give birth to him August 30th .. Here is how it all went down :)


Oh and here I am on August 25th .. 8 months pregnant .. I was huge lol .. Imagine 4 more weeks of being pregnant ..

August 29th - Just like any other day .. I forced my BIG self out of bed and into the shower .. Headed to work & things were fairly normal .. 4-5 prior to today I had called my OBGYN office to just get some questions answered .. I wasn't feeling "right" .. I had back pains and LOTS of swelling .. I was fairly concerned but they didn't seem to be .. I was told "It was first time Mom jitters and anxiousness" .. So of course, I was made to feel pretty stupid .. Weren't we always taught no question was a stupid question? Yeah well, obviously all my questions were .. Anywhooooo, around 11am I had to pee .. When I get to the bathroom I notice something in my underwear .. All the baby books I've read have finally come to good use .. I realize it's my mucus plug .. I immediately feel terrified, waddle back to my desk & call good ol' Mom .. She told me that there was NOTHING to worry about .. That it just means your body is preparing for birth .. A few of the girls I work with who have had kids, told me the same thing .. I didn't get too worried, seeing as thought I'd be going to my 36 week checkup appointment later on in the day .. 3:00pm hits and there we all sit (Mom & Baby Daddy) in the OBGYN office .. I'm already not in a good mood after hitting the scales and realizing my "idea" of not gaining any more than 30lbs is WAY off .. I'm up to 45lbs gained with 4 weeks to go .. The Dr comes in and checks me out .. They had to do my Strep B test also .. I was 1 1/2 cm dialated and 50% effaced .. I was told not to worry too much and take it easy .. I was measuring in at 36 weeks and everything was normal .. I went home feeling assured & relaxed .. I went about my normal routine & headed to my Mom's while Baby Daddy went to his 2nd job .. Come 8:00pm, I waddle myself home (Mom lives 2 blocks away) and make dinner .. Baby Daddy's sisters & Mom came over to visit .. Still, everything was pretty normal .. Around 9:30 I remember feeling extremely exhausted and EVERYTHING on my entire body swelled up .. Face, Nose, Fingers, Feet, Ankles, everything .. I again, thought this was just a sign of being almost full term in my pregnancy .. After all, the nurses and Dr at my office weren't concerned so I tried not to be .. At this point it's 9:30pm and I go to the freezer, get ice packs & sit down on the kitchen floor .. Yeah, I dont know either, but I just couldn't walk anymore, let alone the 5 feet to my living room .. Everyone came out to check on me and we just migrated to the kitchen and talked .. Mom & Sister's left around 10:00 and I looked at my boy and told him I was going to bed .. I felt weird, tired & swollen .. I put on my favorite tshirt and kissed Baby Daddy & off to lay in bed I go .. Baby Daddy was in the shower at this point .. I reach over to turn on the dreaded alarm for 5am .. I remember the clock said 10:23pm .. I throw on my comforter, lay down, close my eyes and BAM .. My water breaks .. It is by far the weirdest feeling .. You literally feel a POP and then a gush .. I'm talking, niagra falls gush .. Or at least me .. I scream to the boy "OMG MY WATER BROKE" .. He jumps out of the shower and runs around like crazy trying to pack a bag .. Yes, I was ONE of those people who didn't have a bag packed .. Cmon, I just got the nursery done that Saturday .. I can't do 2 major things at once and besides, I swore this child was going to be LATE, not 4 weeks early .. I will be better prepared IFFFFFFFFF there is a next child .. IF .. Instead of calling my OBGYN like any other normal person would, I call my Mom .. I mean, she has had 2 kids and of course she is going to be calm and tell me not to freak out .. She tells me she is on her way up and to call the Dr .. I see it is now 10:45pm and i'm just standing in the middle of my bedroom, watching the boyfriend go ape shit, grabbing everything, throwing it in a suitcase, while I am still leaking massive amounts of fluid .. I'm just standing there crying because I am SO NOT READY FOR THIS .. FINALLY, I call the Dr .. It was a midwife on call that i'd never met .. I wasn't too happy about that .. I tell her what happened .. She told me not to worry .. WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TELLING ME THAT! .. Anyways, she asked how much I was leaking and to put on a pad and once the pad was soaked to call back and let her know .. I keep her on the phone and say "Ok I have on a pad, Oh man, it's soaked" .. She didn't find me funny, but NO ONE seems to take me serious .. She asked if I had my strep B test done yet .. I told her I had gotten it this morning but no results were back .. FINALLY, I'm told to go ahead and get admitted in case I was positive so they could start me on antibiotics .. I get to the hospital around 11 .. My Mom, Step Dad & Boyfriend are with me .. Mom called my Mamall (grandmother) to let her know what was going on & she came in .. My family knows I need company and support to keep my mind off of what's happening .. That's just how I am .. Well stupid mean MidWife comes in and basically tells everyone to leave and I'll be fine and this will take HOURS .. Her exact words were something along the lines of "Why is everyone here, bla bla bla, why are we getting so excited, bla bla bla, hours and hours, bla bla bla", I wanted to punch her .. She had a nurse TRY to give me an IV .. She pricked me 5 times .. No success .. FINALLY she got it on the 6th time after collapsing a vein, bursting a vein, missing a vein, whatever .. I hated her and was so happy when she said she had to assist a csection and i'd get a new nurse .. The midwife came in and told me to get some rest & she'd check on me around 5am .. Everyone left me and the boyfriend went to sleep .. How is someone supposed to sleep knowing a baby is coming? I was told I was having contractions but didn't feel a thing .. "PIECE OF CAKE" I thought .. I was always told they felt like severe period cramps, & honestly, every period I had in my entire life was SEVERE .. I knew i'd be fine .. Around 3am (baby daddy is still sleeping) I start to get horrible back pain .. I think nothing of it .. I remember feeling it a few days ago, but blamed it on the fact that I'd been constipated .. TMI? Sorry .. The nice Nurse came in and said to get in the shower .. It's supposed to speed up dialation also .. I was in there for maybe 20 minutes .. The nurse helped me get back in bed and was massaging my lower back .. This Nurse was an ANGEL .. I was so sad when her shift was over .. I look at the clock and realize it's 5am .. Midwife comes in and checks me and WHAM i'm 5cm .. She looked surprised .. So far, so good .. STILL NO DRUGS .. (Quick note, I'm one of the lucky individuals that is allergic to almost every narcotic known to man) .. I ask for drugs anyways, thinking that they HAVE to HAVE something for people like me .. Well they do .. But mean Midwife doesn't want to give me anything just yet because of my progress & my medical history .. Worst case scenario, they give me something, it harms me or the baby & I have to get an emergency C Section (yeah, I'm good) .. After the nurse and Midwife left, I yell over to sleeping baby daddy and ask him to PLEASE wake up and keep me company .. Hi honey, it's me .. Your girlfriend .. You love me, remember? I'm in labor and about to have your baby, it would be nice for you to be awake and help .. Around 6ish, Mom, Step Dad and Mamall come back .. My pappy ended up coming in .. Aunt Jen came in .. Aunt Jodi .. Boyfriend's Mom & Sisters .. I had a whole bunch of people to keep me occupied .. 9am hits and I am FEELING it .. It's horrendous .. NO front cramping like I had expected .. Yep, you guessed it, I had back labor .. (Baby boy was face up, instead of face down) .. And OMG it is way worse than I could have ever imagined .. A new Dr comes in to check me .. She was the Dr who just examined me the previous day .. She came in, saw me and said "WOW I did not expect this to happen so soon" .. I wanted to laugh because she was sweet, but I wanted to say "IF YOU PEOPLE WOULD'VE TAKEN ME SERIOUSLY, YOU MIGHT'VE KNOWN THIS WAS COMING" .. I kept my cool, because she was going to be the one to deliver my child and I was afraid if I was mean, she'd purposefully give me a snip from top to bottom .. Because all Drs do that .. I am now 8cm dialated .. Honestly, I wish I could tell you everything else that happened between 9am-12pm but I was in so much pain, I don't remember .. I'm still being told stories of how amazing I did, how calm I was, and how I cussed at a nurse .. Oh and how a preacher came in to bless me .. Yeah, weird .. At 12ish I remember being checked and told I was 9cm .. As the nurse walks out I see Dr Oh (MY FAVORITE) poke his head in and tell me he is going to be my Dr now, because the other one had to be in emergency surgery .. MUSIC TO MY EARS & the only thing I really remember .. My Nurse Autumn, was AMAZING .. She was helping me through my contractions, and I remember hearing, whoever doesn't want to be in here, needs to leave .. I had a feeling it was time .. Mom was on my left, up by my head, and THANK GOD my crazy, hilarious, Aunt Jodi decided to stay .. She had my left foot & was pretty much my coach .. As much as I wanted to punch her at times for screaming in my face to PUSH, if it wasn't for her, I don't think I could've gone through with it .. Baby Daddy was on the right, up by my head, and his Mom had my right foot .. As expected, I felt the sudden urge to get up & poop .. I heard, push .. I remember the pain being unbearable .. I could not believe I was about to do this DRUG FREE .. (Note: Get the epidural if you are allowed .. do not do this to yourself unless you have too lol) .. I kept hearing "there's his head" "he has FULL head of hair" and the nurse ran out to get the DR .. Ladies, remember when you are pushing to push with your BUTT not your FACE .. That was one thing that I kept saying to myself over and over in my head .. Dr Oh came in and assumed the position .. I remember looking at the clock and everyone guessing when he was coming .. Some said 1:15, some said 1:30 .. It was 12:20 currently .. I pushed and pushed and pushed and at 12:56, out came my precious, beautiful, little boy .. He was perfect .. They took him from me to get checked, weight, measured etc .. I had to go through all the lovely "after birth" stuff and I just laid there thinking "wow I really did this. I gave birth all natural" .. I felt so empowered .. I can't even described the feeling .. One thing I missed was Baby Daddy cutting the umbilical cord .. I was too exhausted and tired and wrapped up in my baby boy .. I have never felt so much joy & love in my entire life .. He's finally here ..

Bryce Pierre Shaffer
August 30, 2011
7lbs, 4oz
19 1/2 inches long
12:56 pm