If you really knew me ..
You'd know that my first love is Music - I can't get through my days without it .. I can relate better to music than I can with human beings .. I can listen to anything from Rock to R&B, 80's to Jazz .. I can rap, I can sing .. I credit my parents for my love of music .. My dad was a singer in a band in the late 70's & 80's .. My Mom went for my Dad because he was the lead singer .. She was a groupie! I always get asked if I would rather be blind or deaf if I had to choose .. For sure, I'd rather be blind .. There is no way I could go a day without music .. It speaks everything I can't say .. It lets me feel real feelings .. It's so nostalgic and always takes me back to some of the best memories, and some of the worst ..
You'd know that I literally spend 30 minutes at night, while laying in bed, thinking about what I'm going to wear to work .. I'm 100% completely insecure .. I will think of numerous cute outfits, try them on in the morning, and look hideous .. Hence, why I am always late dropping Bryce off & then late to work ..
You'd know that I live paycheck to paycheck .. I hate it .. I envy every girl in this Blog-o-sphere that I follow - they all live amazing lives .. Dinners, drinks, shopping trips, pedicures, manicure .. I hope one day I can go to a nail salon for a pedicure without having to check my funds and realizing I have only enough money to get gas & buy necessities, such as groceries ..
You'd know that I have no expectations of marriage .. I just don't see it happening for me .. ever ..
You'd know that I put my heart, my soul and everything I have into my son .. No one will ever know or understand my love for him .. It's a Mommy thing ..
You'd know that I hate being alone .. Not alone, in the aspect of my relationship, but doing things alone .. The thought of my Baby Daddy taking my son somewhere without me or not including me, makes me furious .. I know I need to relax and enjoy some alone time, but I just don't know how .. My son is my life and I gave up that "lonely" "single" aspect of life for him ..
You'd know that I can NEVER relax .. EVER ..
You'd know that I just called my DR for a wellness check up - I'm almost 10000% sure I have ADHD and I need help .. My mind never stops, I start one thing, move to another, than another, and go back to what I was doing .. I suck at concentrating .. I have to plan every minute of every plan .. I'm distracted easily .. I am so forgetful because I worry and wonder about so many things .. It takes me at least 1-2 hours to fall asleep at night .. I mentally drain myself until I'm exhausted ..
You'd know that I am obsessed with reality TV .. I am such a nosey person and love to see how celebrities live .. Married to Jonas is becoming one of my new favorites ..
You'd know that I drink a Starbucks Venti Sweetened Iced Coffee with Soy Milk, almost EVERY single day! I swear it's the only thing that keeps me awake & it helps with my headaches .. Headaches I get from caffeine withdrawals lol ..
You'd know that I'm great at organizing my bosses life - but suck at organizing my own ..
You'd know that I LOVE Football - Washington Redskins to be exact ..
You'd know that I hate seeing my EX play football every Sunday .. Things didn't end on a good note .. And when I see him, it makes me angry .. I know I shouldn't let it get to me or let it bother me, but I feel like there was no closure ..
You'd know that I have a very short temper .. The littlest things make me angry .. They might be "small" things to other people, but sometimes, it's the little things that get to me the most ..
To be continued .. Hopefully on a more positive note :)
