Working on me ..

I was inspired to write this post, after seeing From Mrs. To Mama's post on being a better wife .. We seem to have A LOT of the same qualities!

One thing she mentioned was impatience .. I can honestly say, I have NO patience .. Since having my son, it has gotten better, but it definitely still needs some work .. & yes, when I get mad, I go for the low blow too .. One thing I've heard over and over again during arguments (with baby daddy, mom, etc) is "Brittany, you are so hateful" .. If you ask anyone I've NEVER been in an argument with before, they would probably tell you there is no way I could be hateful .. I'm a very big hearted person, I'm EXTREMELY outgoing, and I've been told on numerous occasions, I have an addictive personality .. So for me to admit I can be hateful, is a BIG step for me .. & I'm one to not think before I speak ..

Totally off topic, but after seeing a post on FB about how this girl thinks her life is going to be PERFECT once she pops a baby out, kind of made me angry .. Where is my patience again?

I just get so angry with girls who think just because they are having someone's baby, it means everything will be so lovely and grand .. I hate to tell you, but it isn't like that at all .. Of course, don't get me wrong, there are lots of great times, happy times and amazing moments .. but when you both are going on 2 hours of sleep, you have an infant who is screaming for no reason, and you can't get him to stop, yeah, that's when my patience is non existent .. It's rough .. You fight, you argue, you are both stressed, sleep deprived, and frustrated .. Sure, there are couples out there who have great babies .. perfect babies .. Mine, not so much .. He was colicky & had terrible skin issues .. He still, at 6 months, does NOT sleep through the night .. And i don't think he ever will .. So word of advice to those girls who think, just because you're having his baby, it's going to make your relationship 100% better, please rethink your decision ..

I am not perfect .. Nor will I ever be .. I don't want to be .. I'm a real person .. I have good days, I have bad days .. I'm not a perfect Mom .. But I'm the best Mom to my son .. I couldn't imagine life without him and I love him to death .. Yeah, so I complain .. I'm allowed too .. My life isn't easy .. I work full time and I'm a Mom full time .. I would never take back one bad day for anything .. My relationship is not all rainbows and butterflies .. We fight like Ike and Tina (minus the beating part lol) .. but at the end of the day, we kiss good night and we are still in love .. That says a lot about us both ..

Thanks Becky, for inspiring me to take a look at myself and realize I need to make some changes .. for the better .. Instead of coming home and being mad that baby daddy didn't do the dishes and is napping, i'll take a deep breath, not lose my cool & be patient .. He does work 2 jobs and provides .. I could be a little easier on him .. Now he has some things to change too, which, i know, takes time .. We were together (officially) only 1 month before I got pregnant .. (Yeah, friends with benefits seem to turn into more after that lol) .. Not only are we learning how to be parents, we are still learning about each other .. I love him more than life .. And couldn't imagine going through this with anyone else ..

I promise, tomorrow's blog won't be so Debbie-Downer-esque .. After catching up on some blogs i read regularly, I'm wishing i was on a cruise! :)