Today, I'm in the mood to talk relationships .. & I plan on talking about what I want for Christmas, what I want in my closet, what I want on my feet, what I want to get for my son, & basically, one big ol' wish list for Brittanyyyyyy ..
Relationships .. We all have had them .. We all want them .. I'm going to start with a little background to my previous relationships ..
- Every relationship I've been in, I've been cheated on .. (Well all but my current!)
- I've deal with emotional, verbal & physical abuse ..
- I tend to do too much ..
- I tend to give too many chances ..
- I have honestly been in love, 2 times .. (Including my current beau)
- I was engaged ..
- I was dumped after 6 years of dating - 5 which were engaged - because "he didn't want marriage"
High School is supposed to be a fun time - right? Nope, not for me .. My sophomore through senior year was a nightmare .. All because of ONE boy .. We were on and off for four years .. More off than on .. I was that stupid girl who believed everything he said, so it was no surprise, a month into our dating - when he "kissed" someone else - I gave him a 2nd chance .. Stupidest decision of my life .. Because one "I forgive you" turned in to 4 years of being lied to, cheated on, abused .. I had to switch my classes, I had to get restraining orders, I couldn't even go to Walmart without getting harrassed by his crazy family .. My life was hell .. & I continued to let it happen .. It was embarassing .. My self esteem was non existent .. I continued to blame myself for the reason he cheated .. You know, because it couldn't be his fault - or the fact he was a douche bag - obviously it was all me .. Oh Brittany, what a naive & gullible girl you were .. I should write myself a letter - If I knew then, what I know now - Brittany at 15 compared to Brittany at almost 27 .. I will admit - I was not an "innocent angel" when it came to this relationship - We both were in the wrong at times & I was that girl who used "revenge" to my advantage .. Yes, it was immature .. But when you're 15 & hurt? There's no telling what you will do, am i right or am i right? So yes, I used his friends against him, I made him jealous and I did not care how bad it hurt him because he hurt me .. After four years of hell, I finally ended that one .. Good for me! Best decision of my life .. This boy was the high school "all star" .. He had NBA, NFL and MBA dreams .. and now? He works at a gas station .. Brittany, 1 - Ex, 0 ..
After that fiasco - I meddled in some dating, met some new guys - but was scooped up quickly by a nice, sweet, caring, polite, respectful, mama's boy .. Yeah .. Two words no girl wants to hear .. We dated for 6 months before we became engaged .. I thought this was it for me .. He was 19 & I was 19 .. My first real love, my first engagement, the first guy I moved in with, he was the first for a lot of things .. Fast Forward to when we were both 24 .. What a difference 5 years can make .. He let himself go, he stopped trying, we did nothing fun as a couple .. He was too busy worrying about what his single friends were doing .. What golf course he was going too .. What day he was hunting .. He worked 3rd shift - I worked 1st .. We fought all of the time .. I wanted a husband, I wanted a family, I had the dreams & he made me believe they would come true .. After almost 6 years together - I was told "I just don't want to get married & I don't want kids" .. Umm, ouch?? I had been unhappy for a while .. We both were .. So it wasn't that hard for me to make the decision to leave .. I was more of his mother than his girlfriend .. I cooked, I cleaned, I did it all .. Managed the money, paid the bills, grocery shopped alone, slept alone, there were no date nights, no affection, this wasn't how I wanted my life to be .. We parted ways in early 2010 & I honestly, have not seen or spoke to him since .. Oh wait, I lie .. I had to meet up with him in March of 2011 (I was 3 months pregnant) so he could sign off on our car & I could get one on my own .. It was a little awkward ..
There were some "others" in between and after those "relationships" .. Which leads me to my Baby Daddy :) I was in no way, shape or form, looking for anyone .. I knew him from High School & a lot (I mean a lot) of my girlfriends always made comments about him .. Me, on the other hand, was no interested .. I had too much to worry about in High School anyways .. (see above mentioned douche) .. I can't lie & say the thought DIDN'T cross my mind - it did maybe once - but he just didn't seem like the kind of guy I'd go for, or who would go for me .. Funny how things happen .. So randomly, in September of 2010 - we had been texting and I invited him over to hang out .. After that night, he would text me daily & mostly on weekends .. Me? I was just playing hard to get .. I was kind of still seeing someone else at the time, so I wanted to make sure, I was only seeing one guy at a time .. I wasn't good juggling dating .. I'm a one man kind of woman :) .. Fast forward about 2 months, beginning of November .. My best friend and I were going to a bar to watch a band .. When we got there, I got a text from him .. Instead of ignoring it, I decided to ask him to meet me out .. He told me when I finally responded he said "Forget her, I'm done trying, I'm not going out to meet her" .. I guess I played a little too hard to get, because I almost lost him! lol - His cousin was in town from NY and persuaded him to go out .. He met me at the bar, we drank wayyyy too much & at the end of the night, I made sure he came home with me .. Sounds really bad, but hey, it is what it is! :) Since that day, we were together every night .. He would come to my place, or I'd go to his .. We were both trying to figure out what we wanted .. He had been hurt and cheated on before, so he was scared to commit .. He was a very private person while I'm very outgoing .. So when we'd go out, I didn't understand why he would distance himself and not be as affectionate towards me as he was when we were alone .. He was pushing me away slowly .. Finally, one night, I had had enough .. I text him and said I needed some time alone & I needed a break from him .. He text me back and asked if we could talk .. I honestly had NO intentions of talking to him & was going to end it right then and there .. I didn't want to be lead on again, strung along again, have promises made and be let down .. I ended up meeting up with him & he did the unthinkable .. He asked me to be his girlfriend .. I was so surprised, so shocked & it was so unexpected .. He was known for being the "Single guy" .. But little ol' me changed his perspective & he retired his player jersey in December of 2010 .. Brittany scored again! :) Long story short - we spent too much time alone in December (wink, wink) & January 19, 2011 I found out I was expecting .. He took it better than I did, for sure .. In April we found out we were having a little boy - in May we moved into our first place together - August our little man was born & here we are .. Almost 2 years later .. There are always things to be improved in our relationship .. We were kind of thrown in to being parents pretty quickly on but we've survived the 1st year! December marks 2 years for us .. Everything was rushed .. Do I think we will get married? I sure hope so .. We talk about it .. But we aren't rushing in to it .. Yes, I know, we have a child .. Why aren't we married? I get asked all of the time .. We will get there .. Let us get ourselves right & raise our child .. When the time is right, we will do it .. This may be the 2nd time I've been in love, but I can honestly say, It's the first time I've felt this way about anyone .. Brent is heart .. he is my soul .. he is my support system .. We aren't perfect .. We fight hard, but we love even harder .. We know this is it for us, and forever, I will fight to keep it how it is .. He is my happily ever after .. My prince charming .. & one day, I'm going to make the HOTTEST Cinderella ever! & Because I want to - queue picture overload! The first picture - was from our first night out in November .. The night that started it all :)
Next topic on my agenda - BRITTANY'S WISHLIST!! :) Christmas seems to be right around the corner!
Here is my said - wish list..
First and foremost - I WANT A KEURIG!!!! Preferably this yellow one! :)
I will take money so that I can go on a shopping spree to the below places - I am pretty simple! :)
And lastly - Can I just say - I want to buy my son EVERYTHING from Baby Gap & Old Navy right now! I mean seriously, look at this stuff!
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OMG I die .. I have to stop .. This is just from Baby Gap - I didn't even go to Old Navy online - I saw what they had in the stores & it is insane .. Now, if only I can use my own Christmas money to buy myself stuff this year instead of using it for Brycie P :) The life of a Momma ..
Happy Hump Day everyone! xoxo <3
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