Let's talk relationships .. & the longest post ever - Picture overload!

So I've been trying to get the wishy-washy topics on this blog to something more people can relate with ..

Today, I'm in the mood to talk relationships .. & I plan on talking about what I want for Christmas, what I want in my closet, what I want on my feet, what I want to get for my son, & basically, one big ol' wish list for Brittanyyyyyy ..

Let's begin ..

Relationships .. We all have had them .. We all want them .. I'm going to start with a little background to my previous relationships ..

• Every relationship I've been in, I've been cheated on .. (Well all but my current!)
• I've deal with emotional, verbal & physical abuse ..
• I tend to do too much ..
• I tend to give too many chances ..
• I have honestly been in love, 2 times .. (Including my current beau)
• I was engaged .. 
• I was dumped after 6 years of dating - 5 which were engaged - because "he didn't want marriage"

Needless to say, bitter doesn't begin to describe how I felt about "love" .. But like I've been told, never let your past make you "bitter" - let it make you "better" ..

High School is supposed to be a fun time - right? Nope, not for me .. My sophomore through senior year was a nightmare .. All because of ONE boy .. We were on and off for four years .. More off than on .. I was that stupid girl who believed everything he said, so it was no surprise, a month into our dating - when he "kissed" someone else - I gave him a 2nd chance .. Stupidest decision of my life .. Because one "I forgive you" turned in to 4 years of being lied to, cheated on, abused .. I had to switch my classes, I had to get restraining orders, I couldn't even go to Walmart without getting harrassed by his crazy family .. My life was hell .. & I continued to let it happen .. It was embarassing .. My self esteem was non existent .. I continued to blame myself for the reason he cheated .. You know, because it couldn't be his fault - or the fact he was a douche bag - obviously it was all me .. Oh Brittany, what a naive & gullible girl you were .. I should write myself a letter - If I knew then, what I know now - Brittany at 15 compared to Brittany at almost 27 .. I will admit - I was not an "innocent angel" when it came to this relationship - We both were in the wrong at times & I was that girl who used "revenge" to my advantage .. Yes, it was immature .. But when you're 15 & hurt? There's no telling what you will do, am i right or am i right? So yes, I used his friends against him, I made him jealous and I did not care how bad it hurt him because he hurt me .. After four years of hell, I finally ended that one .. Good for me! Best decision of my life .. This boy was the high school "all star" .. He had NBA, NFL and MBA dreams .. and now? He works at a gas station .. Brittany, 1 - Ex, 0 ..

After that fiasco - I meddled in some dating, met some new guys - but was scooped up quickly by a nice, sweet, caring, polite, respectful, mama's boy .. Yeah .. Two words no girl wants to hear .. We dated for 6 months before we became engaged .. I thought this was it for me .. He was 19 & I was 19 .. My first real love, my first engagement, the first guy I moved in with, he was the first for a lot of things .. Fast Forward to when we were both 24 .. What a difference 5 years can make .. He let himself go, he stopped trying, we did nothing fun as a couple .. He was too busy worrying about what his single friends were doing .. What golf course he was going too .. What day he was hunting .. He worked 3rd shift - I worked 1st .. We fought all of the time .. I wanted a husband, I wanted a family, I had the dreams & he made me believe they would come true .. After almost 6 years together - I was told "I just don't want to get married & I don't want kids" .. Umm, ouch?? I had been unhappy for a while .. We both were .. So it wasn't that hard for me to make the decision to leave .. I was more of his mother than his girlfriend .. I cooked, I cleaned, I did it all .. Managed the money, paid the bills, grocery shopped alone, slept alone, there were no date nights, no affection, this wasn't how I wanted my life to be .. We parted ways in early 2010 & I honestly, have not seen or spoke to him since .. Oh wait, I lie .. I had to meet up with him in March of 2011 (I was 3 months pregnant) so he could sign off on our car & I could get one on my own .. It was a little awkward ..

There were some "others" in between and after those "relationships" .. Which leads me to my Baby Daddy :) I was in no way, shape or form, looking for anyone .. I knew him from High School & a lot (I mean a lot) of my girlfriends always made comments about him .. Me, on the other hand, was no interested .. I had too much to worry about in High School anyways .. (see above mentioned douche) .. I can't lie & say the thought DIDN'T cross my mind - it did maybe once - but he just didn't seem like the kind of guy I'd go for, or who would go for me .. Funny how things happen .. So randomly, in September of 2010 - we had been texting and I invited him over to hang out .. After that night, he would text me daily & mostly on weekends .. Me? I was just playing hard to get .. I was kind of still seeing someone else at the time, so I wanted to make sure, I was only seeing one guy at a time .. I wasn't good juggling dating .. I'm a one man kind of woman :) .. Fast forward about 2 months, beginning of November .. My best friend and I were going to a bar to watch a band .. When we got there, I got a text from him .. Instead of ignoring it, I decided to ask him to meet me out .. He told me when I finally responded he said "Forget her, I'm done trying, I'm not going out to meet her" .. I guess I played a little too hard to get, because I almost lost him! lol - His cousin was in town from NY and persuaded him to go out .. He met me at the bar, we drank wayyyy too much & at the end of the night, I made sure he came home with me .. Sounds really bad, but hey, it is what it is! :) Since that day, we were together every night .. He would come to my place, or I'd go to his .. We were both trying to figure out what we wanted .. He had been hurt and cheated on before, so he was scared to commit .. He was a very private person while I'm very outgoing .. So when we'd go out, I didn't understand why he would distance himself and not be as affectionate towards me as he was when we were alone .. He was pushing me away slowly .. Finally, one night, I had had enough .. I text him and said I needed some time alone & I needed a break from him .. He text me back and asked if we could talk .. I honestly had NO intentions of talking to him & was going to end it right then and there .. I didn't want to be lead on again, strung along again, have promises made and be let down .. I ended up meeting up with him & he did the unthinkable .. He asked me to be his girlfriend .. I was so surprised, so shocked & it was so unexpected .. He was known for being the "Single guy" .. But little ol' me changed his perspective & he retired his player jersey in December of 2010 .. Brittany scored again! :) Long story short - we spent too much time alone in December (wink, wink) & January 19, 2011 I found out I was expecting .. He took it better than I did, for sure .. In April we found out we were having a little boy - in May we moved into our first place together - August our little man was born & here we are .. Almost 2 years later .. There are always things to be improved in our relationship .. We were kind of thrown in to being parents pretty quickly on but we've survived the 1st year! December marks 2 years for us .. Everything was rushed .. Do I think we will get married? I sure hope so .. We talk about it .. But we aren't rushing in to it .. Yes, I know, we have a child .. Why aren't we married? I get asked all of the time .. We will get there .. Let us get ourselves right & raise our child .. When the time is right, we will do it .. This may be the 2nd time I've been in love, but I can honestly say, It's the first time I've felt this way about anyone .. Brent is heart .. he is my soul .. he is my support system .. We aren't perfect .. We fight hard, but we love even harder .. We know this is it for us, and forever, I will fight to keep it how it is .. He is my happily ever after .. My prince charming .. & one day, I'm going to make the HOTTEST Cinderella ever! & Because I want to - queue picture overload! The first picture - was from our first night out in November .. The night that started it all :)

Next topic on my agenda - BRITTANY'S WISHLIST!! :) Christmas seems to be right around the corner!

Here is my said - wish list..

 

First and foremost - I WANT A KEURIG!!!! Preferably this yellow one! :)

 

I will take money so that I can go on a shopping spree to the below places - I am pretty simple! :)

 

 

 

And lastly - Can I just say - I want to buy my son EVERYTHING from Baby Gap & Old Navy right now! I mean seriously, look at this stuff!

 

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 OMG I die .. I have to stop .. This is just from Baby Gap - I didn't even go to Old Navy online - I saw what they had in the stores & it is insane .. Now, if only I can use my own Christmas money to buy myself stuff this year instead of using it for Brycie P :) The life of a Momma ..

Happy Hump Day everyone! xoxo <3

Let's Play Catch Up!

So since my last blog - nothing too exciting & fun has happened .. Just the normal everyday life of working and being a Mommy ..

Which brings me to a topic that recently has been talked about more & more to me .. Stay at home Mom's .. I constantly get asked, "Why aren't you at home with your son" .. Is that even an option in today's economy? When I tell people, financially, I cannot afford to stay at home, immediately I'm being told - "sell your car", "ride the bus", "you'll save on gas & daycare", & the most dreaded of all "live off of the government" .. Now don't get me wrong, girlfriend, if you can afford to stay home, my hat is off to you! Unfortunately, I can't .. & sometimes, even if I could, I just don't think I would .. I was on maternity leave for 12 weeks .. Yes, I bonded with my son. Yes, I was sad to go back to work. But then again, I was excited for adult interaction, conversation & getting back into the swing of things .. Around my town, there are hardly NO women I know or am friends with who are stay at home Mom's. Let alone, have the means to go on play dates, shopping trips, lunch dates, out of town excursions .. Time's are tough .. No, my boyfriend does not make 6 figures .. He works 2 jobs .. I work one .. Between the both of us, we still live paycheck to paycheck .. I pride myself in going to work, paying my bills and getting NO assistance what so ever .. My life may not be easy .. It surely isn't glamorous & NO, I can't afford to get a new outfit or piece of clothing every month like some .. But I have 2 nice cars, I have a nice house, my son goes to a GREAT daycare & has shown so much advancement since being there (yes, he was walking at 11 months!), I have a wardrobe full of clothes (so what if they're outdated), my boyfriend has great clothes, we have nice things, we have a pantry & fridge full of food, our electric is always on & we have what we NEED .. Of course, I'd love to be able to have what I want, and with time, that will come. I struggle with saving money. I'm terrible at it. When one door closes for me, another one opens, and any money that has been saved, is used for things needed. Like a new headlight or tires, car maintenance, doctor bills, dentist bills, things I can't control. Everyday life things. I live on a budget. Do you know how bad I'd love to be able to leave work some nights and stop to get a pedicure? Or buy a new outfit? Or shoes? Or have name brand makeup? I never take small things for granted. One day I'll get there. One day I'll be comfortable. But for the time being, I'm alive. I'm healthy. I have an amazing son who is the light of life. He is my best creation. Without him, I'd be so lost. & his father. My love. My soul mate. The reason my life is complete. I know I don't brag or say much about him, but Thanks Baby Daddy. You are truly my best discovery <3

Hmm, what else? October 1st started a new event in my life - NO MORE FAST FOOD! Not only for money reasons, but for health reasons as well. I know my body. I know that when it comes to Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas - I gain weight. I cannot afford to gain 1 extra pound. So I'm doing my best at curbing my cravings, my salty tooth & my sweet tooth!

Speaking of Halloween - this year, I don't believe we will be participating in Trick-or-Treat with our little man. My Mom lives in Funkstown & they have an awesome Halloween parade and costume contest, so we will attending that. Since recently, we've found out our baby boy has a peanut allergy. To say I'm worried, is an understatement. I'm terrified of Halloween and candy. I don't really let him have candy to begin with, but for this occasion, I would've normally allowed it. I'm too scared of the candy's that might have, do have it, if it touched something that had peanuts in it. Bryce's allergy is so severe that something as simple as me eating a reese cup, then kissing him, could potentially be deadly. We have 2 epipens on hand at all times just in case. This is something that is so scary to me as a mother. One little peanut could destroy my entire world! I have turned into quite the crazy Mommy & have looked at EVERYTHING and EVERY label in my pantry to be sure, there is no peanuts found anywhere ..

One last thing - the absolute amazing Veronika at Veronika's Kandy Koated Dreams is currently hosting an AWESOME giveaway. Check out her blog and get your entries in .. Have I told you how amazing she is? You'll agree once you take a peek :) Look at all of this GORGEOUS stuff!

Stay beautiful ladies! xoxo <3 P.S. - Is anyone else completely in love with the fact it's October & Fall?? I know I am! Boots, scarves, jeans, pumpkin everything, Mums, football, LONG sleeves, leaves! ahh, makes my heart happy! :)

If You Really Knew Me ..

If you really knew me ..

You'd know that my first love is Music - I can't get through my days without it .. I can relate better to music than I can with human beings .. I can listen to anything from Rock to R&B, 80's to Jazz .. I can rap, I can sing .. I credit my parents for my love of music .. My dad was a singer in a band in the late 70's & 80's .. My Mom went for my Dad because he was the lead singer .. She was a groupie! I always get asked if I would rather be blind or deaf if I had to choose .. For sure, I'd rather be blind .. There is no way I could go a day without music .. It speaks everything I can't say .. It lets me feel real feelings .. It's so nostalgic and always takes me back to some of the best memories, and some of the worst ..

You'd know that I literally spend 30 minutes at night, while laying in bed, thinking about what I'm going to wear to work .. I'm 100% completely insecure .. I will think of numerous cute outfits, try them on in the morning, and look hideous .. Hence, why I am always late dropping Bryce off & then late to work ..

You'd know that I live paycheck to paycheck .. I hate it .. I envy every girl in this Blog-o-sphere that I follow - they all live amazing lives .. Dinners, drinks, shopping trips, pedicures, manicure .. I hope one day I can go to a nail salon for a pedicure without having to check my funds and realizing I have only enough money to get gas & buy necessities, such as groceries ..

You'd know that I have no expectations of marriage .. I just don't see it happening for me .. ever ..

You'd know that I put my heart, my soul and everything I have into my son .. No one will ever know or understand my love for him .. It's a Mommy thing ..

You'd know that I hate being alone .. Not alone, in the aspect of my relationship, but doing things alone .. The thought of my Baby Daddy taking my son somewhere without me or not including me, makes me furious .. I know I need to relax and enjoy some alone time, but I just don't know how .. My son is my life and I gave up that "lonely" "single" aspect of life for him ..

You'd know that I can NEVER relax .. EVER ..

You'd know that I just called my DR for a wellness check up - I'm almost 10000% sure I have ADHD and I need help .. My mind never stops, I start one thing, move to another, than another, and go back to what I was doing .. I suck at concentrating .. I have to plan every minute of every plan .. I'm distracted easily .. I am so forgetful because I worry and wonder about so many things .. It takes me at least 1-2 hours to fall asleep at night .. I mentally drain myself until I'm exhausted ..

You'd know that I am obsessed with reality TV .. I am such a nosey person and love to see how celebrities live .. Married to Jonas is becoming one of my new favorites ..

You'd know that I drink a Starbucks Venti Sweetened Iced Coffee with Soy Milk, almost EVERY single day! I swear it's the only thing that keeps me awake & it helps with my headaches .. Headaches I get from caffeine withdrawals lol ..

You'd know that I'm great at organizing my bosses life - but suck at organizing my own ..

You'd know that I LOVE Football - Washington Redskins to be exact ..

You'd know that I hate seeing my EX play football every Sunday .. Things didn't end on a good note .. And when I see him, it makes me angry .. I know I shouldn't let it get to me or let it bother me, but I feel like there was no closure .. 

You'd know that I have a very short temper .. The littlest things make me angry .. They might be "small" things to other people, but sometimes, it's the little things that get to me the most ..

To be continued .. Hopefully on a more positive note :)

Inspire Me Healthy - Link Up!

So I've decided to jump on the Inspire Me Healthy train .. I've been debating for a while about doing this ..

I've finally gotten to the point, where I can't even stand to look at myself .. I don't really have many before pictures of my body, because even then (when i thought i was fat) weighing in at 140lbs, I didn't like having my picture taken in next to nothing .. But below is something I'm totally ashamed of, yet I'm going to share it with you ladies ..

Currently - I am about 155lbs .. give or take .. I became a Mommy in August of 2011 - I gained almost 60lbs of pregnancy weight - had my son - breastfed for 4 months - lost all my baby weight, plus 10lbs and was actually down to 138lbs .. November came around, I went back to work, and the pounds just packed on .. At Christmas time, I was able to still fit in size 8-10 jeans .. I am comfortable with that because I didn't have muffin top and I could fit into them fine .. By May, I was unable to fit into any of my jeans .. I had to buy 2 new pairs of size 12 jeans .. and even those were hard to button .. I'd been using the excuse "I just had a baby" month after month .. I don't want my son to be 16 and I'm still saying that .. To some of you, I might not look too bad, but to myself, I feel disgusted ..

Recently, a friend of mine started selling ItWorks products and offered this body wrap for $25 .. I decided, what they hey, just get it and see what it does .. It honestly, has made me lose 4 inches and some belly fat right off the bat .. I kept it on for only 45 minutes .. Yes, I know this isn't going to be the way to skinny .. But since using the wrap and seeing results, I have opted to eat better and I am now an avid user of the My Fitness Pal app on my IPhone .. It's calculated 1200 calories a day to get me down to where I want to be at 140lbs .. I'd LOVE to get to 130lbs at the VERY least .. I'm comfortable in a size 6-8 .. The summer before I got pregnant was the best shape i've ever been in .. Then WHAM! I get knocked up and it seemed like all of hard work get left in the dust .. Why is it so easy to put on the pounds, yet so hard to get them off?

Anyways, without further adieu - here is Brittany 2 weeks ago, followed by Brittany before & after using the ItWorks body wrap .. Pardon my stretch marks .. I do not have good genes when it comes to stretching skin .. I mean, those are my only ones, but they mean the world to me .. those are there because for 8 months, i kept my son safe and i carried him with me .. some of you may think they are gross, but to me, they are beautiful and they have so much meaning and memories behind them .. they will fade with time!

I feel so much better when I eat better .. I know I will get to my goal .. I don't care about the weight .. I care about how I look and how my clothes fit .. I, of course, would love to see my scale hit 140lbs - but until then I'm going to continue to keep watching what I eat, cut out carbs (bad ones), cut out snacking & no more venti iced coffees for me .. I am allowing myself ONE day a week to eat lunch out .. And when I go out, I will make better and wiser choices ..

Thank you Kristen and Raven for this link up & for making me want to crawl under my desk and hide .. I only have one follower and I really hope no one else sees this! But if you are looking, you are more than welcome to follow me! :)

I promise, you will not be disappointed! I'm a blast in a glass!

How I fix my face!

I am hoping one day, this blog will actually get some followers & get a new design! Maybe that's why no one reads me .. My blog looks boring! I am soooo not boring .. I need to get google "How to make my blog pretty" ASAP ..

Anyways .. I had the bright idea this weekend to show you how a simple girl, like myself, get's her face ready in the mornings, using normal, drug store, make up .. I know, I know .. I wish I could afford the good stuff but I'm poor .. & I'm cheap .. Spending $30 on foundation or $25 on mascara seems a bit overboard .. With coupons, I can buy both for less than $10 .. I am a sucker for E.L.F. Cosmetics, Covergirl and good old Wet N Wild .. yes, they still make that stuff ..

I'm going to show you my step by step on how I get pretty .. Because trust me, after these pictures, you will understand why I go NO WHERE without makeup! Yikes face!

Here is my make up bag, my lovely brush & yes, my broken comb .. I'm telling you, you will judge me and I can see your faces now, making faces of horror .. I need help, yes, I know! Also, my broken mirror and Revlon tweezers .. I tweeze every single day .. I TRY to get my eyebrows waxed as often as possible, but again, I'm poor, so tweezing is my only option!

Next, are the products I use first and foremost ..

I start off - clean face - I use Cetaphil to wash my face and I use Sea Breeze to clean off the residue left behind .. I apply these next 2 items ..

 First - I use my ELF tinted moisturizer, followed by my L'Oreal True Match foundation .. Applying it with a wedge sponge .. Yes, I still use these .. After this picture, I did throw this one away .. I change sponges every week ..

Here is my face before I start & after using my moisturizer and foundation .. I apologize for these in advance! Not my best look!

As you can see, I have terrible red patches on my cheeks & nose, I also have dark circles under my eyes pretty bad ..

After using my moisturizer and foundation, I use these next products .. Covergirl pressed powder, ELF bronzer & ELF Blush .. My blush brush is from like 1999, I promise .. It's terrible .. I just have yet to find one as big and stiff as this one .. I love it .. I hate super soft brushes .. I feel like they don't work as well ..

Here is my lovely face after I apply these 3 .. I promise, I'm a happy person .. I look terrible when I smile & I have no idea why I have one eye bigger than the other!

After my face is finally on, it's time to start my eyes! I very rarely wear eye shadow but when I do, it's usually a darker shade .. and I hardly ever use eye liner unless I'm going out .. Which is not often ..

I am IN LOVE with this mascara .. I've been using it since it came out .. One thing I am not a big fan of, is waterproof mascara .. I never use it .. I'll stick with raccoon eyes when I'm crying .. Makes it look more real .. The eyeshadow is from the Salon where I get my hair done .. It was only $1.00 .. I'm thinking maybe I should change my blog name to Cheap, Easy & Half Man .. I bet I would at least get ONE follower!

So here is my lovely face after adding my eyes .. It amazes me, how different mascara makes you look .. That is my ONE beauty product I could NOT live without, for sure!

Last, but not least, my luscious lips! I use basic lip stain I found at Victoria's secret 3 years ago on sale followed by Wet N Wild lip gloss to give me some shine!

Voila! Here is my finished product ..

As you can see, this is my cry for help .. What products do you use? What are your favorite brushes? Any suggestions on when to throw out makeup/brushes and start fresh? I want to have a flawless face that lasts .. I can never seem to have my AM face stay on for the PM .. HELP!