The Drama of Social Media

December 4, 2012 was the last time I blogged .. Contrary to your beliefs, it’s not that I ran out of things to say .. I just don’t know how to manage my time .. 

First things first – I’ve had 2 birthdays since my last blog .. I am now 28 .. Two years away from the BIG 30! I am not one of those women who fret over getting older .. I feel as though I’m getting better with age .. ok, maybe not body wise .. But I’m totally smarter & wiser & funnier & awesomer ..

My little boy, well big boy, will be turning 3 in about 5 months .. THREE .. TTTHHRREEE .. I am NOT okay with this .. I knew people said it went fast, but this is too fast .. Me no likey .. 

Brent and I celebrated three years together in December .. Still no ringy on my fingy – but I have a good feeling it will be coming soon .. When I say soon, what I really mean is, that shit better happen immediately – not like I haven’t been waiting for three years or anything .. GAH .. 

In February of this year, I accepted a new position within my same company .. & lemme tell ya something .. My stress levels have decreased .. My mood is 100 times better .. I don’t work weekends .. I’m not on call every evening .. I don’t get bothered .. I don’t get micromanaged .. I come in, do what is assigned to me (independently) & at the end of the day, my Boss always compliments my work & my abilities .. He doesn’t throw tasks on me without at least pulling me aside to ask my thoughts on taking on something new .. He is so easy going & laid back .. It makes it so much more enjoyable to come to work .. I prayed & prayed & prayed for a new beginning & 2014 started out on a great note! 

I have decided to start blogging again because I just need a space to vent & store my thoughts .. I believe that is enough of a catch up for now .. moving on ..

As of recently – I’ve found myself caught up in a little “drama” per say .. Let’s make this short & sweet .. There was a ladies night going on that I was unable to attend .. it was at the house of one of my best friends .. along with a few other girls I normally don’t talk too or hang out with .. Jump to, let’s say, midnight .. I am home with 2 of my other girlfriends, who were not invited or involved in the girls night being put on by another friend .. So one house has myself & 2 friends – the other house has my best friend & I think 4 of her friends .. Can I anyone agree when I say, as a woman, we tend to have different groups of friends we hang out with at different times? Ok, so it’s not just me? Perfect .. One thing I failed to mention, booze .. Yes, we had some .. Yes, they had some .. I had a little much but I was enjoying my girl time as any other girl would .. 

Que the lovely world of social media .. Upon looking through Instagram – we saw a picture of a group of clowns posted by another female at the other house .. It didn’t take us long to figure out, that she was basically calling us a group of clowns .. Mind you, this particular female was supposed to be a neutral friend of both groups .. Especially to one of the girls I was with .. One thing led to another, one drink led to another, and texts/phone calls started flying .. Yes, we totally acted like we were in high school & had a bunch of drunken rants/texts .. Particular girl who threw the first punch at calling us a clown, was the same girl who singled me out & started a side conversation bashing me as a person .. Anyone who knows me, the REAL me, knows that if you throw the first punch & open that door – you better be prepared to get it back .. Did she say hurtful things? Absolutely .. Did I say hurtful things? Absolutely .. & that ladies & gentlemen, is NOT how you have a successful girls night .. Especially being 28 years old ..

I’m the kind of person who tries to avoid situations like this, at all cost .. I don’t like arguing .. I don’t like nit picking .. I don’t like throwing verbal punches .. and I surely do not like when someone doesn’t get along with me .. The next morning after said incident, I had every intention of going to “that girl” and apologizing for the drunken, hurtful things I said .. Honestly, you could pay me $1 million dollars to tell you what I said to her & I couldn’t do it .. Yeah, that inebriated .. To my surprise, said “girl” had taken it upon herself, to not only contact my close friends, but her husband decided to contact my boyfriend & pretty much try to put together an “I hate Brittany” group .. Yes, this person is almost the same age as myself .. I made ONE comment to her that set her off so bad, she felt compelled to rally against me to try & convince other people that I was a shitty person .. That’s not normal right? It’s just sad to me how someone can be so insecure with themselves, that the only way they know how to resolve issues, is to keep adding to them .. She has yet to acknowledge that she started this whole incident .. Had she NOT thrown the clown post in there, none of this would’ve happened .. & I dare someone to say they have NEVER made a rude or inappropriate comment when they were plastered .. If you say you haven’t, you’re a liar .. I don’t just go around saying mean things to people .. That’s not who I am .. But if you’re standing outside throwing rocks at me – expect those rocks to come back 10x harder .. I am not a fighter in the least, but I will defend myself .. 

Two weeks went by .. I’ve let it go, I’ve moved on & I haven’t spoke of or thought of “said girl” .. Hop onto another amazing social network site – Facebook – and see that “said girl” has gone to her friend & she posts something on Facebook about it .. Two Weeks .. 14 days .. & you’re still recruiting people to protest against me .. I don’t know about you, but in 2 weeks, I got a lot accomplished .. None of them was worrying about this pointless drama .. I’m avoiding it & letting it go, yet it won’t go away ..

Against my better judgement, I decided to be a mature adult & go to “said girl” to try to reconcile or at least agree to be civil, due to having to be around her a lot because of mutual friends ..

Yeah – that conversation went NO WHERE .. From that point forward, I just decided that if she chooses to live her life in such a hateful, negative, un –forgiving way, then so be it .. She can spend her whole life being miserable & clinging onto ONE thing I said .. I can spend my whole life doing the same, except I won’t .. She doesn’t want my apology so she won’t get it ..

Which brings me to this .. 

Social Media .. Can anyone remember a time where they didn’t have FB, IG, Twitter, even AIM to communicate with people? Yeah I can .. I was 10 .. and Life was amazing .. I had real friends .. I played outside with my friends .. I had to go to school to keep up on the lives of my friends or have sleepovers to meddle in what they did on the weekends .. How nice was life without the constant need to post everything and check everything and judge and criticize and feel as though you had to live up to some kind of “social media standard”? I’ve never been so critical of myself .. Should I post that? Should I post this? No that picture shows my double chin. No you can see my fat roll .. Eww that’s what I look like? I never thought of myself as “big” or “thick” until I became a part of Instagram or Facebook or even Pinterest .. Constant posts of “Size 12’s are considered plus sized” .. Wow I’m a size 12 .. I Scourer Pinterest for recipes, scourer Instagram for motivational pictures, scourer Facebook to see other people who you want to look like & never feel good enough & get depressed & then eat your sadness & continue to stay the same .. Disgusting .. But it’s everyday life for people .. More kids committing suicide, more shootings, more crime because we are given this platform to feel bad for ourselves, envious of others and greedy to the point where we don’t even want to have our own life anymore .. What if everyone could just mind their own business & learn to love what they have & who they are? When someone says life is beautiful – it isn’t .. Life is what you make it .. If you want it to be beautiful – I want to encourage everyone to take a 7 day break from your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest – EVERYTHING .. and just LIVE .. Live YOUR life ..  

The broken friendship & the drama that I was apart of - was started by social media .. One post, two posts, one text, two texts .. It all led to this ridiculous bashing session .. I realize not everyone will be friends with me .. I realize everything I say, or do, or post, or talk about, will be twisted and judged and used against me at one point in my life, if not on a daily basis .. That’s just how some people function .. That’s just how some people make themselves feel better about themselves .. Friendships are being tested .. Relationships are constantly judged .. There is always something going on in everyone’s lives that revolve around some kind of social media .. I’ll leave off with a quote that was sent to me by a friend ..

“I guess our parents stayed together simply because they didn’t have 7,000 people following them or liking their pictures at their disposal when their marriage or relationship got hard. Nowadays, when our relationship hits the rocks, we can just log on and get high off of this false sense of security and appreciation. We value our worth based on comments and inbox messages filled with colorful words that have no depth. Meanwhile, the person who loves you when there is no filter on your face becomes an option and the rest of the world who just sees your representative becomes priority. Don’t lose what is real chasing behind what only appears to be”.

Happy back-to-blogging & Happy Monday!